Wow, maybe my name Shouldn’t be Laci I’m pretty sure I should have new name to go along with the new me and the new person I have became.
You know that saying “that person died” I can totally relate it so true in an odd way its almost like I can watch my past like a bad movie.
If you knew me 10 to 12 years ago you definitely wouldn’t have thought I would have a blog, kids, family or a normal job. And absolutely not PTO president at my daughter’s Elementary School.
I recently read a book titled Dancing for the devil by Anny Donewald it was very good & definitely an eye opener. I was never an exotic dancer I might as well have been I worked at Hooters in Atlanta, GA. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t confident enough to take all my clothes off. But we still got all those men that needed to go home to the responsible duties of being a dad and husband but no they would sit for hours and pay all of our bills lights, car, water, credit card statements etc….. Thinking maybe they would someday go further most didn’t hardly ever but of course we had those few that always went overboard.
Now me and my husband work like heck and pay for everything like we should I never expected a man to pay my bills I don’t know why I allowed it then.
I have a few post on here about my family and my daughters biological father but for the most part he died with the old me as well. I met him when I was about 16 and it was a train wreck for the first time we said hello…. Him being 5 years older with 3 kids (I didn’t know that at the time) it was definitely not what you would typically bring home to mom and dad ! My parents are and have always been amazing and I was raised to be strong and confident.
But I was definitely the opposite the attention I gained from him fueled a different spark in me and made me feel like I was really getting someone everyone else wanted. It was almost like I wanted to prove the world wrong I could change this man right ?
In reality I drove a new Mercedes that my daddy bought me and that’s what attracted this “man” I mean after all that’s what all the rappers had in the video’s.
When I look back on the old life and the old me & all the situations I dealt with and put myself in it blows my mind if I did any of that today I would have a melt down….
It’s almost like I had a funeral for the old me the whole nine yards like I grieved like someone I knew died it was a happy death odd right ?
When I look back I know I had to have a alter ego inside me the voice back then telling me to handle it, do whatever, who cares, you got this, you don’t need help, and do what it takes to keep him and so on and that voice back then kept me alive kept me going in a bad way for the most part but what if I wouldn’t have been that strong then ? Could have been worse I suppose.
There are stories I could tell that no one would beleive its hard for me now to think how I went that route and how I wanted to be with someone so broken and awful? Having self love is huge and I honestly think back then I didn’t have any. I no longer have that problem I love me and time alone.
When I had my daughter my alter ego my coping mechanism started changing the power it carried was dying and slowly evaporating it was like I was raw and bothered by it all. Thank god she died and I no longer could deal with all the mess !!!! It changed my life and I am normal and happy its truly amazing and still blows my mind daily.
So every new year I kinda act like its my 2nd birthday !!! Happy birthday to the real me and I add new greatness every year.
So sometimes death is a good thing especially when it’s all in your head !!!
Thanks so much for coming by y’all means so much !!!!
Merry Christmas !!!!! And Happy Birthday to the new us !!
I think it’s good we shed who we use to be sometimes, it just means we are wiser and ready for the new chapters. Happy birthday to the new you & Merry Christmas!
Happy birthday to you! I love hearing raw and real stories like this. So glad you’re moving forward and are the woman you want to be!
I love this post! I’ve definitely had a death in my life as well. I’m so glad you’ve learned a lot over the past years. Hindsight really is 20/20!
Happy birthday and I hope it’s wonderful!
You are a strong inspirational woman 🙂 Happy birthday to the real you! I love your positivity x
Thanks so much for coming by !!! and the nice words !!
what a beautiful post! I can very much relate, though mine has to do more with family than with a man.
Change is good for the soul! Sounds like you are right where you need to be now! xox
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It truly is inspiration, the way you turned your life around. A new name may well be in order!
I think we all go through a bit of reflection especially during the changing of the New Years to see how far we’ve become. It’s nice to see yourself from where you are to where you are going and how strong you actually are. I can relate a lot to this because I’ve had countless men in my life that forced me to change. Happy birthday to the real you!
It sounds like you’ve really made some good changes for you and your family. It’s so good that you’re able to let go of the past and move on to celebrate the new you. Happy Birthday 🙂
Isn’t it funny that we can’t see the manure when we are knee deep in it and we can only see it once we get out?!? I have a very similar story to yours…minus the fancy car.
Thanks for sharing your story. I don’t think I’d call mine an alter ego but I think most of us have parts of our lives where we look back and realize we just hurt ourselves or made choices we’d run from today. Even my worst choices I probably wouldn’t change cause they made me who I am. Happy new you birthday 🙂
Thanks !!! Exactly if I wouldn’t have had all that mess I definitely wouldn’t be who I am now and I love me now.
It’s never too late for a fresh start and you’re a breathing example of this! Way to put yourself and your health first! Keep going girl!!!
Happy Birthday to the new you! So inspiring. I know you’ll touch many with your journey.
Hindsight is always 20/20! I guess that’s why they say we grow wiser and more beautiful with age:)
This is so awesome!
So happy for you!
What amazing growth and reflection! Congrats!!
Our past experiences help us develop wisdom, but that doesn’t mean we have to stay in them. Good for you for changing your life to the way you want it. Such a positive attitude is sure to take you where you want to go!
Sounds like a phoenix rising out of the ashes. I always look back on mistakes I made in the past and think, yep that happened and it’s ok because it made me who I am today.
Have a great 2016!
It amazes me what a change having a baby can do to a person. I know that I would be in such an awful place if it hadn’t been for her. You should have symbolic funeral for your alter ego.
Thank you for sharing your personal account of “shedding” your old self. I think everyone has gone through that process, although not many would be confident enough to share it publicly.
Happy Birthday to the real you. All the best in 2016. 🙂
Sounds like you’ve come a very long way, congrats! I like the idea of thinking of it as a second birthday, like your own rebirth. Good luck with 2016, keep on rocking it girl!
It takes courage to walk away from things that don’t serve you – congratulations on your new life and Happy Birthday!
This is so beautiful! As I was reading I couldn’t help but remember a quote from one of my all time favorite authors, Cheryl Strayed in her book Tiny Beautiful Things.
“I’ll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.”
I hope you have a great year!
Ana (dearanaaa.com)
love that !!!!!!!! that’s freaking perfect and I have never read that before ! 🙂 Thanks
We make choices in our lives, some of the choices lead us into joy, some straight to the other side, yet every choices help us to be who we are at the present time. I like the honesty of yours that you share through this post. You are great lady with every choices you make, includhing the ones from your past!
Happy Belated Birthday and Merry Christmas!! Girl I love your post. We all have choices, the long way or scenic route .. either way we get there, I just hope we make it in tack like you!
Thanks so much !!!! 🙂
I think it’s all in stride with growing up and evolving. Who would even want to be the same person? I mean, maybe Jesus, lol. But I know I personally want to continue growing and making better choices to further myself and grow. Continue on your path of growth and self love, you’re doing great 🙂
So true !!! Thanks so much !! 🙂
Change is always positive and you’ll be doing it your whole life. Trust me. I’m old. LOL
Your so right I have several alter egos that adapt to the person I am with. I think it is important to make them comfortable while mimicking their likes and dislikes but at the same time remaining true to yourself.
I think it alway so touching to find out live events to people and see how they have overcome or gotten rid of what was causing them such grieve. I applaud you for changing and happy double birthday and a wonderful 2016! You and your family deserve all the happiness
I applaude your honest and am very proud at what you accomplished and the changes you decided on to. All the luck to you in 2016! XO
Sometimes it’s good to take a look back at the person that we used to be. We may not like it, but who we used to be made us who we are today.
It’s amazing how much we can change over time! I think a lot of us are very different from the people we used to be!
It’s fun to take a look back and see how you’ve changed. It’s important that we acknowledge our accomplishments and progress!
Happy 2nd bday to the new you. It’s nice to see someone sharing their story about change and progress.
I feel like that is a perfect analogy! I have some definite unsavory parts of my past that I would rather forget. I love the newness of flipping the calendar. Happy 2nd Birthday to you! Here’s to an amazing 2016!
I like hearing when people are able to overcome their personal obstacles in life. I don’t think I had an alter ego, but my younger self could have definitely benefited from being more like the person I am today.
I love your post, thank you for sharing, I’ve learned so much and I’m still learning and growing, I like the woman I am today.
Happy Birthday to the new you! I know what you mean – when I look back to how I was in my teens and early 20s I don’t really recognise myself – or at least in some of the decisions I was making. I actually love being in my 30s, everyone said it would be a great decade, and so far it really is, I just feel more comfortable in my own skin, and that is a wonderful thing. Wishing you all the very best for a happy and healthy 2016! x
Very inspiring post! The way you write is inspirational and reflects a string woman! Congratulations on the new you! and Happy New Year
it sounds like changes have been made for the better and it is great that you have things going good now