If you read the “About me” section at the top of my blog you already know i have a mixed / blended family.
My daughter that will be five at the end of this month is 1/2 white and 1/2 black which equals a 100% un-flawed concoction. And my son that will be two in April is 100% white. Same as me and my husband.
My daughter recently started Pre-K at our local elementary school and is slowly realizing she is not the same skin tone as me her brother or dad.
She hasnt flat out asked me yet whats the deal mom !! But i get comments from her somedays such as… i want green eyes hers are brown or i want skin like my brother. And normally i usually say no way you were made special you dont have to lay out in the sun all summer like mama. And so far thats been enough for us and im good with that.
With that being said yes i realize i will really have to break it down for her soon and explain this year around tan. She has no clue right now cause shes only ever know one mom one dad and one brother. Her birth father is not in the picture at all so she has nothing to go by.
Somedays me and my husband will get those looks like man are you crazy this wife of yours cheated on you wake up. This doesn’t happen close to home we live in a tiny town people know the story but when we venture out its almost comical. We dont mind and it definitely doesn’t bother us.
My daughter is the end result of a crazy rebellious streak i was on. I thank god everyday for her the day she was born i knew instantly i wanted a whole differnt life and a new name for us. I owe her my life if it wasnt for her i would have continued on my path to destruction. And never found the real me.
Somedays i have to bite my tounge it seems like i sometimes have racist thoughts and no i dont mean like i hate black people. Its no secret people think white people act one way and black people act one way especially in the deep south where we live its very divided. My thoughts are no different then black people having thoughts about white people. And i honestly think i have these thoughts more because the leader of the USA has made us so angry! Not to mention Al Sharpton, Ferguson etc…
I never get defensive or aggervated when people say her curls are so pretty or her skin tone is amazing or what products do you use on her hair. I never snap back at these people when asked i answer that is life and we will enjoy this journey.
I will teach her that black / mixed or brown people do not get shot at by cops because of a skin color. You cannot steal, fight & act un-touchable and expect a cop not to feel threatened.
She will know that every choice you make comes a reaction and if you do bad then thats what you get in return.
And while im struggling with coming up up for a time to explain and what i will say i do know for a fact that i will teach my daughter to never no matter what use the “race” card even if someone comes along that may really be racist in my opinion thats a 100% cop out and a very lazy outlook on life.
And when the time comes i will not try and pick the color of her friends or her future boyfriend. But i promise you i will not allow baggy pants, disrespect, laziness or anyother hedious trait i dont care if your pink or golden in skin tone.
If she chooses to rebell as i did which i pray will never happen i hope i suffered enough to cover her but if that happens (cause please never say my child will not do that what a joke thats a curse) but if so i will not be her enabler.
My goal is to raise a smart, pretty, sweet, loving life girl that understands you must work hard to be who you want to be and no matter what skin tone you have to prove to the world and yourself that your a good worthy of praise person.
And you are never entitled to anything if you come up on a job you want and dont get its not your skin tone its that someone better came along fit for that position and its your responsibility to keep adding to the list of greatness and things to add to a resume.
My daughter will know nothing happens cause of skin color that she is in control of her desinity.
LC
XOXO
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I feel you! I’m Puertorrican so is my husband, however my husband is a little bit darker (from his mom side she has dark skin) but my husband father is white with green eyes, anyway when my son was born, he had redish blonde hair, with blue eyes.. of course I know that I had family with green eyes, and blonde hair. So my husband from his dad side. After month the first check up came and the doctor literally looked at my husband and my son, indiscreetly like he would’t believe… When he saw my sons blue eyes he told me his eyes will change later. I couldn’t resist his ignorance and told him, let me get this right for you I’m Puertorrican, I have Spaniards roots, Taino Indians and African which means we are mixed race. In our country you can see a diversity of people with skin colors. Even my mom looks Indian, and FYI my husband grandfather, and father had blue and green eyes.
I was so mad about all the skin color thing and eyes. You will do fine raising your girl and as long she gets the love and support from you, she wont even see the difference between you and her brother. This society is the one who makes creates differences between us, but at the end in the inside we are all the same.
Have a great day! xoxo
I dont think you have anything to worry about !!! There is no doubt you and your husband love your precious little girl so much that when the time comes to explain to her why she has that gorgeous tan and those adorable long curls you will do great !!!!! My grand daughter has beautiful hazel eyes and I have blue, she always tells me she wishes her eyes were blue like mine lol
I think this is beautiful. She is so adorable. One day she will realize what a heart breaker she’s going to be. You’re so strong to show her the right path. Obviously your husband got lucky with you two 😉
Thanks so much yall !! This is an amazing journey ♡ •○••°•○●○••°
What a beautiful little girl! I am glad you won’t let her cop out or see skin color as an entitlement or as a burden. My kids are Asian Indian and Mexican. It is posing some interesting discussion as my oldest is in middle school and where people are curious to his background and make some not so nice assumptions about him both because he’s Indian or Mexican. Kids can be cruel and parents sometimes are no better. We have faced very judgmental eyes too. I might be biased but I think mixed race kids are the most gorgeous! Thanks for sharing with #SmallVictoriesSundaylinkup
Oh my! What a cutie. Pinned and tweeted. Thank you so much for being a part of our party. We really appreciate you! I hope to see you on Monday at 7 pm. Happy Monday! Lou Lou Girls
First of all, your daughter is gorgeous! I have a blended family like you and it is challenging but in a good, fun way. You know what I mean? I really love your style of writing! Thanks for linking up to Totally Terrific Tuesdays!
She is BEAUTIFUL! It seems to me you have the right idea about raising her….she is loved and you are teaching her that it doesn’t matter what color your skin is, all people are the came inside. Good job momma!
She is a gorgeous little girl with style, I love it! I think she will grow up to be just fine. Her & I have the same hair, don’t be too mad if there are days she hates it and gives up on it. Hah, sometimes it can be a lot to deal with. I hope you & the family are having a great Wednesday!