If you read the “About me” section at the top of my blog you already know i have a mixed / blended family.
My daughter that will be five at the end of this month is 1/2 white and 1/2 black which equals a 100% un-flawed concoction. And my son that will be two in April is 100% white. Same as me and my husband.
My daughter recently started Pre-K at our local elementary school and is slowly realizing she is not the same skin tone as me her brother or dad.
She hasnt flat out asked me yet whats the deal mom !! But i get comments from her somedays such as… i want green eyes hers are brown or i want skin like my brother. And normally i usually say no way you were made special you dont have to lay out in the sun all summer like mama. And so far thats been enough for us and im good with that.
With that being said yes i realize i will really have to break it down for her soon and explain this year around tan. She has no clue right now cause shes only ever know one mom one dad and one brother. Her birth father is not in the picture at all so she has nothing to go by.
Somedays me and my husband will get those looks like man are you crazy this wife of yours cheated on you wake up. This doesn’t happen close to home we live in a tiny town people know the story but when we venture out its almost comical. We dont mind and it definitely doesn’t bother us.
My daughter is the end result of a crazy rebellious streak i was on. I thank god everyday for her the day she was born i knew instantly i wanted a whole differnt life and a new name for us. I owe her my life if it wasnt for her i would have continued on my path to destruction. And never found the real me.
Somedays i have to bite my tounge it seems like i sometimes have racist thoughts and no i dont mean like i hate black people. Its no secret people think white people act one way and black people act one way especially in the deep south where we live its very divided. My thoughts are no different then black people having thoughts about white people. And i honestly think i have these thoughts more because the leader of the USA has made us so angry! Not to mention Al Sharpton, Ferguson etc…
I never get defensive or aggervated when people say her curls are so pretty or her skin tone is amazing or what products do you use on her hair. I never snap back at these people when asked i answer that is life and we will enjoy this journey.
I will teach her that black / mixed or brown people do not get shot at by cops because of a skin color. You cannot steal, fight & act un-touchable and expect a cop not to feel threatened.
She will know that every choice you make comes a reaction and if you do bad then thats what you get in return.
And while im struggling with coming up up for a time to explain and what i will say i do know for a fact that i will teach my daughter to never no matter what use the “race” card even if someone comes along that may really be racist in my opinion thats a 100% cop out and a very lazy outlook on life.
And when the time comes i will not try and pick the color of her friends or her future boyfriend. But i promise you i will not allow baggy pants, disrespect, laziness or anyother hedious trait i dont care if your pink or golden in skin tone.
If she chooses to rebell as i did which i pray will never happen i hope i suffered enough to cover her but if that happens (cause please never say my child will not do that what a joke thats a curse) but if so i will not be her enabler.
My goal is to raise a smart, pretty, sweet, loving life girl that understands you must work hard to be who you want to be and no matter what skin tone you have to prove to the world and yourself that your a good worthy of praise person.
And you are never entitled to anything if you come up on a job you want and dont get its not your skin tone its that someone better came along fit for that position and its your responsibility to keep adding to the list of greatness and things to add to a resume.
My daughter will know nothing happens cause of skin color that she is in control of her desinity.